So a friend dropped me off here around 3 pm on Sunday... We had just eaten a Korean dish called bibim makguksu (spicy sauce mixed with buckwheat noodles) and gamja jeon (potato pancakes). And lots and lots of dong dong ju (a Korean wine made from rice, this particular one also was infused with ginseng).
So, I hadn't actually been preparing myself for this cleanse as I should have (eating raw foods and juices for about a week). But like I said, I panicked at the thought of maybe not wanting these things after the fast so I thought I should get my fill.
It's a small cottage type building. Cute. Spacious enough for one person.
I went through some really crazy cravings the first night. Mainly for saltine crackers and more of the potato pancake I had earlier for lunch.
On the official Day 1 (Monday), I began taking the shakes and herbs. The shake can be quite filling. I felt bloated, but I did this before so I was used to it. I had a few bowel movements throughout the day. Nothing significant. Many, many cravings for all types of things I can't recall now. I fantasized all day about the watermelon I brought along to have for lunch. (I thought I should drink juice and eat some raw foods for a few days to ease into the cleanse and build up my electrolytes).
I took before pictures and measurements of myself so I can compare pre and post-cleanse and in the late evening I did some yin yoga, followed by an enema.
My measurements:
thigh: 21''
hips: 37''
waist: 32''
bicep: 10''
chest" 30''
weight: 64.2 kg
It's recommended that an enema should be around 2000 ml, but my container only holds 1200 ml, and even that proved to be too much for me the first time. For the solution I used tap water (not recommended in most places, but I figure I'm up in the mountains, it's as fresh as it gets besides distilled water) and the juice of two lemons strained and added to the lukewarm water.
I had a size 16 french catheter (hose that goes into my ass), last time I had a size 24. Didn't really notice much difference between the two. Anyway. My instructions for the enema are:
I laid on my left side while 1/3 of the water entered me. As the water was entering, I was massaging my intestines (you can feel them, like a rope), up my left side, across under my rib cage, and down my right side. The next 1/3 of water I laid on my back with my hips raised, again massaging my intestines in the same pattern. And finally, for the last 1/3 of water I laid on my right side and again massaged. This maneuvering into different positions is to encourage the water to go deeper up into my intestines. At times, I had to stop the in-flow because of cramping and wait for peristalsis (muscular waves that push poo out) to stop. This being my first enema in a while. I couldn't hold it in for the recommended 10-15 minutes. I was off to the toilet to release.. I don't know why, but releasing an enema is a consistently exhausting activity for me. Although I feel 'better' in one sense (my intestines are emptier), I always feel fatigued. Anyway, if I was able to hold it in for the extra 10-15 minutes I would have put my legs in the air and pretend bicycled, massaged my abs some more. And then when I was ready, I would shake my way to the bathroom. To kind slosh around the water inside my intestines.
So that was that. I took a shower, and I think I was soon off to be after that.
The next few days kind of blend together. I can't give individualized reports of what I did. But to sum up.. I've discovered food porn. I've basically been searching vegan websites, looking at pictures of food, reading recipes, looking at substitutions for cheesy food I know I may want to eat..I found some really great pictures and recipes for vegan mac and cheese, vegan nacho dip, vegan pizza. Even though I don't want to push myself to give up cheese if I'm not ready, I'm going to do what I can to encourage myself along.
After my last cleanse my bowel movements were more regular than they have been for YEARS, and then I ate cheese, and seriously, I was backed up for days. No bowel movements. And then, even once they started to come, they were no longer as complete and voluminous as they were prior to eating cheese, or as regular. So, I really don't want this cleanse to be for nothing. Go through these 21 days and have cleaner bowls, ready for nutritious food, and then bog them down again with some gooey slime called cheese...
Day 3 I attempted to do Ashtanga yoga but realized I was very light-headed, on the verge of passing out. I've never passed out so it was an interesting experience for me. So I opted to just lay down instead. That was my first sign of a cleansing reaction (things like nausea, headaches, rashes, etc.) that occur because an increase flow of toxins in the body. Usually an enema helps with this, or if you can't handle it, it's suggested to eat something like a potato, that is slow digesting to slow the cleansing process.
I didn't want to eat anything so I decided on Day 4 to fast entirely on just water. I took no herbs and no shakes. I felt very weak and achy all day. I mainly just watched old episodes of Grey's Anatomy on my computer and movies on TV.
It's funny, I saw Cool Runnings, which I was just teaching my students about the Jamaican Bobsled team. I had wanted to show them a clip of the movie...but I had already put so much into the lesson, I had no time or motivation to incorporate it. But seeing it on TV gave me an appreciation for the movie, beyond the bad accents of non-Jamaican actors. I was able to look past that. The movie is charming and inspiring. Anyway. I just thought. What are the chances of Cool Runnings playing on a Korean movie network. It just made me think about how we attract what we focus on..etc. etc. In hindsight it doesn't seem that synchronistic. But at the time, I definitely paused and smiled for the confirmation that humans are creative beings and thoughts have creative powers, whether we choose to claim that power or not.
Another piece of serendipity is that I had been CRAVING Ethiopian food. It was a major staple in my diet in the states. So healthy...so spicy...so delicious. I searched all over the Internet for an Ethiopian restaurant in Korea. But of course, they don't exist. I found something in a place called Chuncheon, which isn't far from me called Ethiopia Cafe but it was near a Korean War memorial commemorating the Ethiopians who participated in the war. But there was no mention of food. And so, I remain skeptical. Next, I checked Japan. That's some greedy shit. Fly all the way to Japan to eat Ethiopian food. And it wasn't just cravings from the fast. I've been really wanting Ethiopian my entire time here in Korea (1 1/2 years now). I finally found this pre-made bebere sauce online that you just add to some lentils or meat if you're into that. So I bookmarked that site, and then I found a buckwheat recipe for injera (sour Ethiopian bread) and bookmarked that also. Injera is traditionally made with teff (an ancient grain), but it's not in Korea...and I read buckwheat is the next best thing. So, after feeling mildly satisfied that one day, in the near future, I could satisfy my Ethiopian craving, I stopped my never-ending food porn quest. Then I settled in to watch Top Chef. And guess what the quick-fire challenge was? Make an Ethiopian inspired dish, and the guest judge was Ethiopian chef, Marcus Samuelsson. Again, I had to pause and smile at the power of thought or whatever you want to call it that attracts exactly that which you focus on. I was perfectly content with my episodes of Grey's Anatomy, but something told me to check out the new Top Chef episode.. yeah.
Moving on. I stayed up until 4 am or so again.. browsing food porn: vegan chicken wings, vegan gravy, vegan burgers. I also had significant pain in my neck. I have chronic neck pain, so it wasn't unusual to feel pain in that area, but this was really painful. Today, Day 6, I woke up a bit earlier than previous days (around 11 am) and immediately, I noticed a relief in my neck. I don't know if it's because I slept on my back (I usually sleep on my side with my neck contorted) or because the extreme pain I felt the night before was my body's intelligence doing some work in there.
Something similar happened to me right before I came here. I had an ankle injury, apparently an over-stretched ligament. And I went to an acupuncturist, a very handsome acupuncturist. That night, I couldn't even sleep the pain was so severe. Much more severe than previously. I woke up in the morning and the swelling had gone down a bit and there was significantly less pain than before I saw the acupuncturist. So.. yeah. I think things flare up even more before they feel better. I have no scientific explanation for this.. but this has been my experience twice now in less than 3 weeks.
Anyway. I intended on re-starting the herbs and shakes today, but intuitively I'm not sure I'm ready. My intestines still feel uneasy and 'full.' I'm not sure if there's parasites being stirred up and causing a ruckus in my intestines in which case I should resume immediately to get those suckers out.. or if I'm just overloading my body too much and my reserve of electrolytes is low. (your body needs electrolytes to bind with the toxins to carry them out of the system.. no electrolytes..and the toxins continue to get stirred up by the herbs but just hang out in the blood causing us to feel sick for a prolonged period). I'm not a doctor, and I don't want to do any damage to myself, so I'm going to drink some cucumber juice today (high in potassium) and resume the regimen tomorrow.
I also haven't done yoga. My strength has returned today. I'm still a little achy physically, but I'm not at all woozy and haven't experienced any extreme lightheaded-ness today. I'm hoping after two days of just water and lots of rest, and some cucumber juice today I'll be ready to start back up on my plan.
I'm also becoming overly aware of how much I hold in my stomach. For aesthetic reasons I guess. I definitely don't have as frequent bowel movements as I should, and so I have quite a little pouch. I'm by no means 'fat.' but I'm definitely carrying extra weight around my mid-section. The fact that this has virtually disappeared in 5 days is further proof to me that it's not fat (you can only burn about 1 pound of fat a week), but gunk in my intestines causing my stomach to protrude the way it does. I read numerous reports from many naturopaths having cleared up to 20 lbs of this mucoid plaque from people's intestines. Gross, eh?
I haven't passed any yet, I don't think. The stuff I passed hasn't been rubbery in texture as it's described to be. I think I've mostly been passing the gelatinous pysllium husk infused with bits of waste in my colon and other toxins absorbed by the bentonite.
I had been vacillating about the enemas. I read in some places that they're intrusive and we shouldn't do them, and then in other places that they're necessary. Let me attest, that yesterday while I was still feeling woozy, and after not taking an enema for 2 days, I felt immense relief. Not just in my colon, but all over, I felt less achy, less lightheaded, and in general, just happier. Now, if I water fast, I don't think I'll take enemas. But for this type of cleanse, where such huge amounts of toxins are being dumped so rapidly, I think it's essential for my well-being. And also, the volume of taking 5 of those shakes in one day, it's simply uncomfortable. I think it's important for comfortability sake to get it out.
So yeah.. I intend to do some yoga today. Drink some cucumber juice. No food porn. Maybe some RAW food porn. Sleep by 12:00 am, and wake up at 4:30 am for meditation.
I've basically been lounging around 'entertaining' myself so far.. it hasn't been the spiritual reconnecting time I intended it to be.. but I plan to turn things around tomorrow.
Lots of books to read. Lots of projects to do.
Godspeed.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Arise and Shine 21-day Cleanse
So..I specifically created this blog to document my experience doing a 3 week cleanse. I'm alone. Utterly alone. In a cabin...deep in the recesses of the mountain side in Gangwon, South Korea.
I'm kicking this off by writing about my motivation for doing this. For a few years now I've been very interested in health. I grew up eating what most Americans eat. But upon going to college and encountering a few wise individuals, I've been turned onto wiser ways to cooperate with nature, my body, and what I perceive to be as spiritual laws. And so...it's been about a 3 year adventure into healthier living. This includes very closely monitoring what enters me.. physically, psychically, nutritionally. That's not to say I've become a sage or that's even the goal. But I'm just becoming aware...just watching. And to my horror...I'm out of control. I am not the master of myself. My raging thoughts are. My food desires are. My emotions are. Everything but 'me' and all that I perceive to be 'me' is simply not in control. So they first thing I'm choosing to tackle is my diet.
I haven't eaten meat in 2 years now with the exception of a deep fried fish coming off my last fast in February. Oh and I had a few bites of shark meat as well. It was more of an emotional, nostalgic craving than anything else. I was in Thailand and I had memories of my mother's Jamaican escovich fish which was one of my favorite meat dishes as an omnivore. And also, I think in cleansing, old cravings come up as that gunk is being cleared from our bodies and is circulating in our blood waiting to be removed for good. I read somewhere that we crave whatever is in our blood. I suppose the science on that is questionable but I inutitively and experientially know it to be true. For examples, the mornings I start my day with fruit or a green smoothie, I have no problem avoiding fried or other otherwise unhealthy foods. But on days where I have nothing, I'm easily tempted into all the abominable non-foods that, as my teacher would say 'aren't fit for a dog.'
So where I am now.. I'm a vegetarian..or rather a grainitarian. I eat a lot of rice (being in Asia it's hard to avoid, but that's no excuse). I eat a lot of fried food (kimchi bokkup bap (kimchi fried rice), kimchi jeon (kimchi fried pancake), a lot of soy faux meat products from one of my favorite vegan restaurants, daeng jang jjigae (a fermented soy bean soup), a lot of nutritionless white rice, and I hate to admit this but, ramen (affectionately called ramyeon here, it's actually a legitimate dished served in restaurants, if you could believe it), and a spicy barbecued root vegetable called todeok with an assortmant of banchan (side dishes, usually raw or fermented vegetables), lots and lots of tofu, and I gave up cheese for about a month, but I cracked one day and my craving came back with a vengeance.. one of my favorite dairy indulgences is margarita pizza (with tomato and basil). I'm also partial to spaghetti, heavy on the bottled parmesean cheese. Another thing nostalgic from my childhood, I used to love my dad's spaghetti..he would make this huge pot and we'd eat it with a large loaf of italian bread, meatballs, and of course loads of parmesean cheese. Spaghetti for daaaays. Anyway, that's pretty much my diet as of late. I rarely even cook anymore, just because I'm so caught up in my cravings and laziness.
I recently bought an expensive high-speed blender: the blendtec. It's an impressive machine and it has inspired me to incorporate more fresh greens and fruit into my diet. In the mornings I've been doing the green smoothie thing.. and I definitely felt the difference just incorporating them into my diet, my cravings began to diminish. But as this cleanse drew nearer, it's as though I wanted to stuff myself with as much junk as possible for fear that I might lose all taste for them with this cleanse. Which is part of my intention, but I'm scared of it as well. The idea of NEVER doing something again scares me. An irrational fear, I know. At this point, I'm 98% sure I'll NEVER eat beef, turkey, chicken, or goat again.
The thing is, at one point in my life I thought that was a near impossibility. It scared me to think I would NEVER eat curry chicken, curry goat, jerk chicken, a jamaican beef patty, buffalo wings with blue cheese, a chicken quesadilla, a taco, a hamburger...it scared me to think I would NEVER eat these things again. I thought my gastronomic experiences would be forever diminished. But here I am.. chicken, goat, beef, turkey, (and fish) free. And not even giving it a second thought really. Honestly, I'm still tempted by fish on occasion.. but all other animal flesh is, in a word, revolting to me. And all it takes for me to become revolted by fish as well is to think of a live fish, swimming merrily along. Or walking past a fish restaurant with live fish in tanks (which abound here in Korea). The smell, the real smell, not the artificial smells culinary artists use to mask the real smell, but the real smell.. is enough to deter me.
My point is, I wanted that deep fried, sweet and sour fish after my last cleanse. I craved it. I couldn't get it out of my mind, and I had it. And I enjoyed it. And I haven't really craved fish since. I saw fish in the lunchroom a few weeks ago, and I stared at with a curiousity. I wondered what it tasted like, but I didn't have a desire to eat it. So, I think the key is to not tell myself 'NEVER' but to make the conscious choice that it is something I want to change about my diet and why, and if STRONG cravings come, indulge. And not feel guilty. Enjoy it. I think eventually, the cravings fall away. Deprivation isn't the way. I no longer look at not eating curry chicken as a deprivation but as healthy choice. One day, I will come to see pizza and tiramisu gelato and all fried foods and all cooked foods in that late. But today, today I'm taking it one day at a time and not judging myself or guilting myself. Trying to find the ever-so-elusive fine line between self-discipline and self-judgment.
So what I'm saying is.. I'm a person that thrives on freedom of choice. In all aspects of my life that are beyond the scope of this blog.. But let's just say I'm free-spirited. And it just really makes me nervous to put restriction on myself even further. Ultimately, I'd like to eat a 90-95% diet that is 80% simple carbs (mostly from fruit), 10% fat (mostly from nuts and avocado), and 10% protein (mostly from nuts and seeds). This diet is based on Doug Graham's book titled 80/10/10. No grains (no pasta, rice, bread, etc.). No soy. No added salt. No added sugar.
Lofty goals from where I am currently (my current diet as described above, heavy on fried foods, grains, soy, sugar, occasionally dairy,etc. So that brings me to this cleanse.
From my understanding, research, and experience, eating, for most modern people, is a very emotional rather than nutritional experience for most people. A thing of habit as well. And so.. I want to re-set my palette (to reject unhealthy things) and also choose to eat for the correct reasons (nutrtion, actual hunger). Like I've said.. I've been watching very closely why, how, what, when I eat. But I've made no significant attempts to really curb my emotional cravings. Just observing, taking notes. And now with a perfect understanding that I eat when I'm bored, upset, social appeasement, and purely for taste. I want to change those things with a concerted effort. Again, I'm not going to deprive myself if a craving becomes extreme, but I'm going to stop playing games with myself...stop convincing myself I'm just over-indulging because 'one day' I won't be able to eat these things. because quite frankly I don't 'miss' meat. And 'one,' elusive day, I won't miss cheese.
So coming out of this fast I want to make food choices based on REAL hunger, not the fake: I'm mentally craving something because I'm bored or I want to suppress some unwanted emotion, type of 'hunger.'
In a sentence, I want to become the master of myself. Essentially, only put food (real food) in my mouth for the reasons of nutrition. And by real food I mean something that contributes to my health and does not deplete anything in my body or harm me in any way. And in my well-researched opinion and experience these real foods, are raw, whole foods.
I'm getting away from the idea that just because I put something into my mouth and chew, it is a food. Things that are not easily eliminated from the body and leave a toxic (poisonous) residue, eventually leading to illness, are not food. Things that are dead (cooked) are devoid of enzymes, vitamins, and life force, which according to Dr. Richard Anderson and many other naturopaths is more important than minerals and amino acids (which are still available in cooked food).
I've chosen to do this Arise and Shine Cleanse after reading Dr. Richard Anderson's Cleanse and Purify Thyself (books 1 and 2). I did a variation of this cleanse for 7 days in February in Thailand and was pleased with the results. Actually, on Day 7, I wasn't ready to stop. I began to feel euphoric.. Everything was all love and light. That 'unconditional love' new agers talk about, seemed tangible. My skin broke out horribly. My stomach became very flat. I felt like I was on the verge of releasing a lot of backed up gunk, but I was in Thailand, and I wanted to eat. I don't regret it. The food was amazing. But that's why I'm doing the same cleanse again, here in Korea, in the mountains. I'm not tempted by anything, and I have my full 3 week vacation to see what happens.
Basically, the idea is that most people have YEARS and years, of build up, undigested, rotting, putrid, matter in their colons which inhibits assimilation, contributes to a bloated looking mid-section, houses parasites, and causes auto-intoxication. This gunk goes by the name of mucoid plaque. So the idea is to get this mucoid plaque out with the assistance of some things: There's an herb formula the good Dr. Anderson developed called chomper which loosens the plaque and other toxins. Then there's an herbal nutrition that helps provide some nutrients (as there's no eating), and there's a shake consisting of bentonite clay and psyllium husk. Psyllium husk is essentially a bulking agent, fiber..to scrub the colon walls and the bentonite has extremely absorbant qualities to soak up all the toxins being stirred up by the chomper herbs.
So. five times a day.. I'm going to take some herbs. Five times a day, I'm going drink a shake. I'm also going to take an enema twice a day.
Also, to assist in the emotional, spiritual part of this cleanse, I intend to wake every morning at 4:30 to meditate. I will also be doing two types of yoga each day, yin and ashtanga. I intended to jump rope also to keep up with my muy thai training, but I haven't even attempted so far...yoga alone has proven to be a bit aggressive. I've been experiencing cleansing reactions, mainly weakness and lightheadedness from the overload of toxins circulating in my blood. I also plan to journal everyday. (I'm a bit late, I'm already on day 5) But I'm going to make an update post next. I also plan to study Korean each day, which I never make time for in real life. So the plan is to get myself into a pattern/habit of doing it everyday. I also plan to work on a few other personal projects that I never seem to find time for in real life.
So to get down to it... With this cleanse, these are my goals:
I am my own master.
I am clear-minded.
My negative thoughts and emotions are released.
I'm able to watch my emotions and can see all the ways I use food to stimulate and satiate myself.
Only nutrition and real hunger dictate what and if I eat. Feed the body, starve the cravings.
I have a new eating pattern. I am only attracted to foods that nourish me.
I'm calm. My mind is quiet.
I have an abundance of energy.
Physically, my midsection is flat, my skin is blemish-free and glowing, and my eyes are clear.
I am observant and receptive.
**********
Cleansing improves my daily reality by freeing my time to focus on other goals. I feel light--unencumbered by clogged intestines. I'm cultivating confidence through consitency and self-discipline. I'm learning to override both internal and external persuasion. Cleansing gives me something tangible to focus on and work toward. Each day, cleansing contributes to a sense of accomplishment that has long been lacking. I'm exploring myself.
Go for it. Do it now.
I'm kicking this off by writing about my motivation for doing this. For a few years now I've been very interested in health. I grew up eating what most Americans eat. But upon going to college and encountering a few wise individuals, I've been turned onto wiser ways to cooperate with nature, my body, and what I perceive to be as spiritual laws. And so...it's been about a 3 year adventure into healthier living. This includes very closely monitoring what enters me.. physically, psychically, nutritionally. That's not to say I've become a sage or that's even the goal. But I'm just becoming aware...just watching. And to my horror...I'm out of control. I am not the master of myself. My raging thoughts are. My food desires are. My emotions are. Everything but 'me' and all that I perceive to be 'me' is simply not in control. So they first thing I'm choosing to tackle is my diet.
I haven't eaten meat in 2 years now with the exception of a deep fried fish coming off my last fast in February. Oh and I had a few bites of shark meat as well. It was more of an emotional, nostalgic craving than anything else. I was in Thailand and I had memories of my mother's Jamaican escovich fish which was one of my favorite meat dishes as an omnivore. And also, I think in cleansing, old cravings come up as that gunk is being cleared from our bodies and is circulating in our blood waiting to be removed for good. I read somewhere that we crave whatever is in our blood. I suppose the science on that is questionable but I inutitively and experientially know it to be true. For examples, the mornings I start my day with fruit or a green smoothie, I have no problem avoiding fried or other otherwise unhealthy foods. But on days where I have nothing, I'm easily tempted into all the abominable non-foods that, as my teacher would say 'aren't fit for a dog.'
So where I am now.. I'm a vegetarian..or rather a grainitarian. I eat a lot of rice (being in Asia it's hard to avoid, but that's no excuse). I eat a lot of fried food (kimchi bokkup bap (kimchi fried rice), kimchi jeon (kimchi fried pancake), a lot of soy faux meat products from one of my favorite vegan restaurants, daeng jang jjigae (a fermented soy bean soup), a lot of nutritionless white rice, and I hate to admit this but, ramen (affectionately called ramyeon here, it's actually a legitimate dished served in restaurants, if you could believe it), and a spicy barbecued root vegetable called todeok with an assortmant of banchan (side dishes, usually raw or fermented vegetables), lots and lots of tofu, and I gave up cheese for about a month, but I cracked one day and my craving came back with a vengeance.. one of my favorite dairy indulgences is margarita pizza (with tomato and basil). I'm also partial to spaghetti, heavy on the bottled parmesean cheese. Another thing nostalgic from my childhood, I used to love my dad's spaghetti..he would make this huge pot and we'd eat it with a large loaf of italian bread, meatballs, and of course loads of parmesean cheese. Spaghetti for daaaays. Anyway, that's pretty much my diet as of late. I rarely even cook anymore, just because I'm so caught up in my cravings and laziness.
I recently bought an expensive high-speed blender: the blendtec. It's an impressive machine and it has inspired me to incorporate more fresh greens and fruit into my diet. In the mornings I've been doing the green smoothie thing.. and I definitely felt the difference just incorporating them into my diet, my cravings began to diminish. But as this cleanse drew nearer, it's as though I wanted to stuff myself with as much junk as possible for fear that I might lose all taste for them with this cleanse. Which is part of my intention, but I'm scared of it as well. The idea of NEVER doing something again scares me. An irrational fear, I know. At this point, I'm 98% sure I'll NEVER eat beef, turkey, chicken, or goat again.
The thing is, at one point in my life I thought that was a near impossibility. It scared me to think I would NEVER eat curry chicken, curry goat, jerk chicken, a jamaican beef patty, buffalo wings with blue cheese, a chicken quesadilla, a taco, a hamburger...it scared me to think I would NEVER eat these things again. I thought my gastronomic experiences would be forever diminished. But here I am.. chicken, goat, beef, turkey, (and fish) free. And not even giving it a second thought really. Honestly, I'm still tempted by fish on occasion.. but all other animal flesh is, in a word, revolting to me. And all it takes for me to become revolted by fish as well is to think of a live fish, swimming merrily along. Or walking past a fish restaurant with live fish in tanks (which abound here in Korea). The smell, the real smell, not the artificial smells culinary artists use to mask the real smell, but the real smell.. is enough to deter me.
My point is, I wanted that deep fried, sweet and sour fish after my last cleanse. I craved it. I couldn't get it out of my mind, and I had it. And I enjoyed it. And I haven't really craved fish since. I saw fish in the lunchroom a few weeks ago, and I stared at with a curiousity. I wondered what it tasted like, but I didn't have a desire to eat it. So, I think the key is to not tell myself 'NEVER' but to make the conscious choice that it is something I want to change about my diet and why, and if STRONG cravings come, indulge. And not feel guilty. Enjoy it. I think eventually, the cravings fall away. Deprivation isn't the way. I no longer look at not eating curry chicken as a deprivation but as healthy choice. One day, I will come to see pizza and tiramisu gelato and all fried foods and all cooked foods in that late. But today, today I'm taking it one day at a time and not judging myself or guilting myself. Trying to find the ever-so-elusive fine line between self-discipline and self-judgment.
So what I'm saying is.. I'm a person that thrives on freedom of choice. In all aspects of my life that are beyond the scope of this blog.. But let's just say I'm free-spirited. And it just really makes me nervous to put restriction on myself even further. Ultimately, I'd like to eat a 90-95% diet that is 80% simple carbs (mostly from fruit), 10% fat (mostly from nuts and avocado), and 10% protein (mostly from nuts and seeds). This diet is based on Doug Graham's book titled 80/10/10. No grains (no pasta, rice, bread, etc.). No soy. No added salt. No added sugar.
Lofty goals from where I am currently (my current diet as described above, heavy on fried foods, grains, soy, sugar, occasionally dairy,etc. So that brings me to this cleanse.
From my understanding, research, and experience, eating, for most modern people, is a very emotional rather than nutritional experience for most people. A thing of habit as well. And so.. I want to re-set my palette (to reject unhealthy things) and also choose to eat for the correct reasons (nutrtion, actual hunger). Like I've said.. I've been watching very closely why, how, what, when I eat. But I've made no significant attempts to really curb my emotional cravings. Just observing, taking notes. And now with a perfect understanding that I eat when I'm bored, upset, social appeasement, and purely for taste. I want to change those things with a concerted effort. Again, I'm not going to deprive myself if a craving becomes extreme, but I'm going to stop playing games with myself...stop convincing myself I'm just over-indulging because 'one day' I won't be able to eat these things. because quite frankly I don't 'miss' meat. And 'one,' elusive day, I won't miss cheese.
So coming out of this fast I want to make food choices based on REAL hunger, not the fake: I'm mentally craving something because I'm bored or I want to suppress some unwanted emotion, type of 'hunger.'
In a sentence, I want to become the master of myself. Essentially, only put food (real food) in my mouth for the reasons of nutrition. And by real food I mean something that contributes to my health and does not deplete anything in my body or harm me in any way. And in my well-researched opinion and experience these real foods, are raw, whole foods.
I'm getting away from the idea that just because I put something into my mouth and chew, it is a food. Things that are not easily eliminated from the body and leave a toxic (poisonous) residue, eventually leading to illness, are not food. Things that are dead (cooked) are devoid of enzymes, vitamins, and life force, which according to Dr. Richard Anderson and many other naturopaths is more important than minerals and amino acids (which are still available in cooked food).
I've chosen to do this Arise and Shine Cleanse after reading Dr. Richard Anderson's Cleanse and Purify Thyself (books 1 and 2). I did a variation of this cleanse for 7 days in February in Thailand and was pleased with the results. Actually, on Day 7, I wasn't ready to stop. I began to feel euphoric.. Everything was all love and light. That 'unconditional love' new agers talk about, seemed tangible. My skin broke out horribly. My stomach became very flat. I felt like I was on the verge of releasing a lot of backed up gunk, but I was in Thailand, and I wanted to eat. I don't regret it. The food was amazing. But that's why I'm doing the same cleanse again, here in Korea, in the mountains. I'm not tempted by anything, and I have my full 3 week vacation to see what happens.
Basically, the idea is that most people have YEARS and years, of build up, undigested, rotting, putrid, matter in their colons which inhibits assimilation, contributes to a bloated looking mid-section, houses parasites, and causes auto-intoxication. This gunk goes by the name of mucoid plaque. So the idea is to get this mucoid plaque out with the assistance of some things: There's an herb formula the good Dr. Anderson developed called chomper which loosens the plaque and other toxins. Then there's an herbal nutrition that helps provide some nutrients (as there's no eating), and there's a shake consisting of bentonite clay and psyllium husk. Psyllium husk is essentially a bulking agent, fiber..to scrub the colon walls and the bentonite has extremely absorbant qualities to soak up all the toxins being stirred up by the chomper herbs.
So. five times a day.. I'm going to take some herbs. Five times a day, I'm going drink a shake. I'm also going to take an enema twice a day.
Also, to assist in the emotional, spiritual part of this cleanse, I intend to wake every morning at 4:30 to meditate. I will also be doing two types of yoga each day, yin and ashtanga. I intended to jump rope also to keep up with my muy thai training, but I haven't even attempted so far...yoga alone has proven to be a bit aggressive. I've been experiencing cleansing reactions, mainly weakness and lightheadedness from the overload of toxins circulating in my blood. I also plan to journal everyday. (I'm a bit late, I'm already on day 5) But I'm going to make an update post next. I also plan to study Korean each day, which I never make time for in real life. So the plan is to get myself into a pattern/habit of doing it everyday. I also plan to work on a few other personal projects that I never seem to find time for in real life.
So to get down to it... With this cleanse, these are my goals:
I am my own master.
I am clear-minded.
My negative thoughts and emotions are released.
I'm able to watch my emotions and can see all the ways I use food to stimulate and satiate myself.
Only nutrition and real hunger dictate what and if I eat. Feed the body, starve the cravings.
I have a new eating pattern. I am only attracted to foods that nourish me.
I'm calm. My mind is quiet.
I have an abundance of energy.
Physically, my midsection is flat, my skin is blemish-free and glowing, and my eyes are clear.
I am observant and receptive.
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Cleansing improves my daily reality by freeing my time to focus on other goals. I feel light--unencumbered by clogged intestines. I'm cultivating confidence through consitency and self-discipline. I'm learning to override both internal and external persuasion. Cleansing gives me something tangible to focus on and work toward. Each day, cleansing contributes to a sense of accomplishment that has long been lacking. I'm exploring myself.
Go for it. Do it now.
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